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To The Mothers Who Carried It All:

Why School Readiness Conversations Feel So Heavy This Year

WHEN SCHOOL READINESS HITS DIFFERENTLY

There's always a lot of talk this time of year about whether kids are 'school ready'. This year and last, a lot of that has (quite rightly) focused on the impact of COVID on resilience, social skills, and independence.

As a teacher, I’ve had this conversation for years. I’ve worked with parents, helped children adjust, and talked endlessly about what kids need to thrive in school.

This year, it’s different. My daughter is starting school. And suddenly, I’m looking at this conversation from the other side.

As a teacher, I’ve always been deeply conscious of family circumstances, of the weight that so many mothers (and fathers) carry. But this year, something has shifted. Now, I don’t just understand it - I feel it. Because now, I am one of them.

And I can’t stop thinking about the mothers. (Disclaimer: This is 100% not to dismiss the dads. But with Mother’s Day this Sunday, it feels right to focus on the mums. Dads, I promise I haven’t forgotten you-your moment is coming.)

THE COLLECTIVE TRAUMA NO ONE TALKS ABOUT

If you were pregnant during the COVID lockdowns, or trying to conceive, or raising a young child, you went through something enormous.

We don’t talk about it like trauma, but that’s what it was.

Trauma means going through something deeply distressing without the support needed to process it. That’s exactly what happened to millions of parents - huge stress, no real collective processing, just relief as things gradually went back to normal and we could ‘get on with it.’

But even though we went back to living life the way we did before March 2020, something lingered.

My friend Charlotte Mindel, a somatic therapist, puts it perfectly: ‘The body holds the memory.’

Our bodies remember what we went through, even if we haven’t given ourselves permission to acknowledge it, or we just wanted to move on and forget about the whole thing.

For many mothers, the trauma started before their child was even born:

• The stress of revealing pregnancy early so employers could make adjustments - if they were lucky.

• The confusion and fear around vaccinations - at first, being told not to get vaccinated, then suddenly being advised to do so.

• The mental load of trying to become an expert - attending webinars, researching risks, making medical decisions without clear guidance.

• The emotional toll of navigating pregnancy in an environment where even doctors didn’t have all the answers.

That was a lot to carry. I remember.

THE MOTHERS WHO CARRIED IT ALL

So now, when I see headlines about kids being ‘behind’ or struggling with resilience, I think about the mothers who lived through it all.

The ones who:

• Attended scans and laboured alone, or navigated pregnancy without in-person support.

• Parented in total isolation, with no playgroups, no friends passing the baby around, no easy moments to breathe (or even shower).

• Taught their older children at home while trying to keep their younger ones entertained.

• Went back to work in a completely changed world, balancing job stress with post-pandemic parenting stress.

And now, they’re hearing that their kids might not be ready for school. And they worry that they didn’t do enough, that they should have somehow fixed everything while they were just trying to survive.

SCHOOL READINESS IS ABOUT MOTHERS TOO

As much as we talk about whether kids are ready, maybe another important question is whether mothers have had the chance to reflect on what they went through. And that's important, because school readiness isn’t just about children adjusting to a classroom. It's about mothers adjusting to a new chapter too. And that adjustment is hard.

After years of having them home, parenting through and after extreme circumstances, letting go feels enormous. After years of carrying the weight, it’s unsettling to watch the children walk into a world we can't control. After years of navigating a post-pandemic world, we’re still catching up emotionally, socially, and mentally.

But here’s the thing: mothers are not just holding the trauma, they are holding the wisdom too.

I didn’t give you Charlotte’s full response when I told her what I was writing this article about this week. To quote her fully: ‘The body holds the memory and the medicine. Yes, we hold the trauma and it can show up and be hard, but also we do have the answers, the wisdom, and the medicine. Trust & listen to yourself through this transition.’

Mothers already have the resilience, the knowledge, and the intuition to navigate this. It’s not about fixing what was lost. It's about recognising that we already have everything we need within us - and sometimes, we just need to dig a little deeper to find it.

Many of the mothers in my Mindset Made Easy programme say that doing the work alongside their children has been unexpectedly empowering. As their children learn to embrace challenges, rethink mistakes, and build resilience, mothers find themselves rewriting their own inner narratives. Growth Mindset thinking can be adopted at any age.

So as much as this transition is about children learning independence, it’s also about mothers stepping into their own confidence. Trusting that they are enough, that they did enough, and that they too are growing through this.

TO THE MOTHERS WHO CARRIED IT ALL - THIS IS FOR YOU

So this Mother’s Day, if you feel a weight in your chest when you hear about school readiness, or when you see your child walking into their next chapter - know this:

You are not alone.
You are not to blame.
You carried something enormous, and you may still be feeling the aftershocks of it now.

If your child is finding some things tricky right now, as so many are, there are things you can do to support them. And when they do go into school, despite how it’s often presented, teachers and school staff are there because they care - they want to see your child succeed. The most success comes when you work together. If there’s something you’re worried about, speak to them. Be a team.

Yes, you and your child went through a lot. Yes, things may look different than they would have pre-pandemic. But the heart of it is this: there are tools, people, and strategies that can help. And your presence - showing up, asking questions, offering love - that’s the most powerful resource they’ll ever have.

There will be tricky days, and there will be challenges. But if you approach this chapter with curiosity, compassion, and a Growth Mindset - knowing that things can improve with effort - you will make it through.

🌱 Ready to take this a little deeper?

If this article struck a chord - if you’ve found yourself nodding, tearing up, or just realising how much you’ve been carrying - I’d love to invite you to something gentle and reflective, just for you.

It’s a 2-hour online workshop for mums who are doing the inner work.

A space to explore your mindset.
To understand the voices you’ve internalised — and how they’re showing up in your parenting.
To pause and ask: what story am I telling myself? And is it still true?

No pressure. No perfection. Just time to think, feel, and reset.

📅 It’s happening soon — and you can read more about it here:
👉 Mum, You’ve Got This: A Mindset Reset

You don’t need fixing. 💙
You just deserve space to hear yourself again. 🧡

I’d love to see you there.

Becca x